The Winning Edge

By Dr. Jeri Fink

Too Many Busy Signals

There are just too many busy signals in our lives. We rush from home to work to family, social, and business commitments. Our lives move in a blur - we can barely keep track of where we're headed, much less where we've come from. And one of the biggest culprits is . . . choices.

Choices? Aren't they supposed to be good? After all, choices give us different roads to take - different ways to handle our lives. If we only had one choice, wouldn't we feel trapped? Like there was no way out?

Absolutely. But the problem isn't about having choices. It's about having too many choices - so many, in fact, that we become immobilized.

Let me give you an example. I once asked a friend who had recently immigrated to the US what was her biggest cultural shock. She looked me straight in the eye.

"Cereal," she said without hesitation.

"Cereal?" I responded, confused.

"Cereal," she echoed me. "In my home country I would go to the market and there would be two or three different types of cereal. It was an easy choice. But when I came here," she sighed deeply, "there was an entire supermarket aisle devoted to cereals. I didn't know what to choose. So many different kinds, flavors, shapes . . . I ended up going home with nothing."

Our lives are like the cereal aisle in the supermarket. We don't have three television stations - depending on your service, you can have hundreds of stations. We don't have one website - we have millions. We don't have one restaurant down the block - we have dozens within reasonable traveling distances. And the list goes on, into every facet of our lives.

What happens? We become stressed just thinking about all the pros and cons. For each choice, there's another with the potential of being better, making us happier, bringing us more. We find ourselves in a swirl of busy signals, trying to figure out which cell phone to buy, which diet to follow, or which show to watch. After a while, the busy signals take over and it becomes even harder to find our way. Many of us end up like gerbils in those little exercise wheels - running faster and faster but never getting anywhere.

What's the solution?

First, figure out your priorities. Don't look at what's available - look at what you need. A cell phone with an internet connection is really neat - but if you don't need it, why bother? Cross it off your list. Unless, of course you really want it. And wanting something very badly classifies as a need, too. You might not need three hundred television stations - but if you really want them, then that too becomes a priority.

Once you've chosen your own personal priorities make a list of the available choices that suit you. If you really want pizza for dinner then discussing the Chinese restaurant makes no sense. Unless, of course, your priority is to stay close to home (and the Chinese restaurant is closer). Only you can make that decision. It means self-limiting your choices so they don't take over. And that's what ultimately keeps you in control, limits the busy signals, and takes a lot of stress out of making the simplest - and most difficult - choices.